OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. I was induced at 7pm, and about 1am my husband decided to go home and get some sleep (I hadnt slept at all either!) I cleaned the house again. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . He never got that chance. With our second things went pretty well. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. It's too much. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. And never forgot it. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. lol. Don't take anything personally. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. I think I may have got lucky! I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. Prodromal labor usually won't. Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. The day after our daughter was born my husband told me about this whole situation and directly quoted said I mean I had to pump for 2 minutes straight. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. Little do they know. If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. LOL, you sound like my wifes ex. He didnt answer, because he was ASLEEP since hed been working so hard. A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. It is mean and very insensitive to the child. "I went into labor at 21 weeks": Mom shares how her baby fought to survive You willingly married and created a child with an annoying drunk and yethe's the stupid one. 9 months or so? First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. Im pregnant. He's drunk. Should i be angry? | Mumsnet Can he be trusted to take care of your LO when he's drinking that heavily? I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. Ouch. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. My nurse thought he had the flu. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. ! lol But overall, he was my rock through both of my labors and he never left my side, so I guess I cant complain too much. He passed out in my bed (I was in the chair) and proceeded to puke. One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). You are pregnant, not we are pregnant. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. So when I couldnt reach him for 40 min, I freaked out. Needless to say, I snapped but couldnt yell at him in fear of waking up my sister (our babysitter) and our 2-year old. About a week later, when it all sunk in and I realised that I was that mother whose husband was basically flammable in the delivery suite, I realised I had been sitting on a teensy bit of suppressed anger. Epidurals are the pain relief of choice in the U.S. but that may be changing. Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). I was always sad that I was alone when my sweet son was born. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. vocabulary - "Was in labour" versus "went into labour" - English Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. My Birth Story: I Can't Feel My Contractions | Women's Health He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. Doctor goes into labor while delivering patient's baby When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? Hoping to cure the problem. husband drunk when i went into labor Home; FAQ; Foto; Contact When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. However, he also started to diet right around the same time, so I think that helped. You know, because that is how alcoholism works. This is not going to change after the baby is born, he has made that clear. It doesn't matter if its wine instead of hard drinks, the point is the dependency. Nothing until we got home. And spell it out that being there means being sober for the next few weeks, (and really after the baby comes). At 4 weeks premature my water broke at 4am. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. I was in delivery with my second child in 12 months. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. Lydia and her husband Steven Reece, 40, from Winston . When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question What about the phrase 9cm dilated makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich??? While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. I could barely walk for a week after the c section, my normal recovery time for that is two days. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. So I stand behind some, I never said all, of these comments are just bitchy. He took my concerns seriously and that is the important part. April 2011. She was great because she understood. Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. This, I really think that you need to convey how important it is to you and the baby, then make sure that he realizes how serious you are that you NEED a coach to help get you through this and if he is to drunk to do it then you will find someone else and he will be relegated to the waiting room. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. With our fourth, he was perfect and even had to help deliver the baby!! All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. laughing gas has been used as a form of pain relief since the late 1900's, although you're more likely to see it at the dentist's office than a birth center. I even brought him the timer and paper and pen, so he wouldnt have to get up. Its so crazy, right? My car, my car! he said with horror. God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. My dad went out for tacos! When they called my room at 3 am to go nurse her, my husband declined to go with me because he was just so tired after everything that happened that day. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. Lydia Swortzel, 36, went into labor at 21 weeks with identical twins after seven years of infertility. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. HELLO! There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. And in the US, up to thirty-eight million people have an alcohol addiction at some point in their lives. Posted 6/9/10. There might have been pee before I got all hooked up. As soon as they moved me into the rooms near the nursery, he went home because he was tired and me being in labor kept him up all night. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. I have to admit, my husband is a trooper in regards to labor and delivery, absolutely wonderful. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. We made it to the hospital in alittle under 3 hours and were holding our baby boy with in 15 mins of his birth. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. When a Man Is Too Drunk to Consent - The Atlantic Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? Indeed! When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. This makes me smile and has healed that little part of me that resented having to be alone and strong at that one beautiful moment. The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). You all left 237(!) I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. I write about that struggle & stuff. I don't know if this has impacted on the way I hold my emotions, but I tend to really bottle everything up until it all becomes too much - even then though it's VERY difficult to communicate any angst or anything that's bothering me. My informal plan was to attempt medication-free vaginal . Another call revealed him sitting at home, eating a sandwich, and checking on his World of Warcraft real quick. That is almost word for word what happened to me.except that I didnt push mine outI had an emergency c-section, so I had to push a wheelchair very slowly down the hall to get to the nicu to nurse because I couldnt walk without support, and I couldnt make the wheelchair go on my own while sitting in it. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! Good grief you have issues. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. Husband, I swear by my ugly faded hospital gown, I will end you. It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? At 7 am, doctor broke my water. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. 5 drinks a night sounds like a problem bigger than just worrying about having a sober ride to the hospital. With our third i forgot something to wear home and baby outfits so he had to go shopping for me and lets just say men DO NOT know how to shop for women or babies!!! This. We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. This can help you deal with issues and challenges more easily and effectively. Or a little bit of both? Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. After 15 hours of back labor and a placental abruption, mine thought it would be cute to say, Honey, calm down! Karma soon gave him kidney stones afterwards. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. Experiencing a craving for alcohol. men are so egomaniacal in general. You have a choice as an adult to enable and accept his behavior, your innocent baby does not. Soon enough he gets a call from his mother asking how the delivery is going. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. for fear that he would pass out. This went on all day. He did later apologize. My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. -Kirsti, My husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows, because his back hurt and I had too many. Its real life, and you mustnt give up so easily. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! Glad she was there for you. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! I feel your pain! Alcohol And Personality Changes - Mental Help Phil, was at this point, fading fast. About a month ago I asked him not to drink until after LO was here because I know it can get to the point that he should not be driving. You'd like to get my newsletter! "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. He went to smoke a cigarette before the midwife came to see me,and by the time he got back, I was already pushing. This is the best Ive got: . Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? Emergency delivery: What to do when the baby's coming - right now Bloody Show: Symptoms & Signs of Labor - Cleveland Clinic I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. He does not drink every night, but just a handful of times a year. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? My wife had a 24 hour labor that ended up in an emergency c-section. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. He will NEVER live that down. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. Into the car it went. Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. I would definitely tell him if he's buzzed he is not welcome in the delivery room because it will only cause you more distress while you're trying to bring your first child into this world. Ugh, Why Am I Not in Labor Yet? Slow To Start Labor I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. He at Popeyes and now she is here yelling bout the fact he ate. He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. Its not that hard.. When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. My hubby is a talker, too. Oh, yeah, I am sure he will slow it down. Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Not Telling Husband She Went Into When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. It's not much to ask for him to give up drinking for a couple of weeks or to just tone it down to a couple just in case so that he can still drive ina pinch. You should also try to increase your intake of healthy food and exercise regularly, as this will help you stay healthy both physically and mentally. The only known and safe ways for your doctor to do it include the . This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". I gave birth to our baby in our house on our bed till i was discovered by his fifteen year old niece. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. If at all possible, secure a back-up. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? Nice. Upon completion of said EP, he gave it to the neighbor. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. A. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. Are you kidding me? at around 11 pm when i started to vomit and asked if we should probably get to the hospital he said are you sure this time? husband drunk when i went into labor We get down to the car and he gets in the passenger side! Jackass. Ask Amy: Husband's nightly drinking takes its toll on - oregonlive When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. . The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. I COULDNT actually talk. I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. ? I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . That's some heavy drinking. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. It was also Boxing Day so during labour, he complained that there was nothing on TV. My husband was beyond perfect. Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! In the throes of that hell my husband turns to me and says, Im about to head out and meet up with the fellas. I hadnt seen my childs dad (dont even want to tell you what I think of him!) He was driving me to hospital in his Mustang Cobra, and we got caught in traffic over a bridge. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. When I told my husband at 2am that it was time to go to the hospital, he said, Oh, not tonight, I have a headache.. Grab Now! All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. The following is an exclusive excerpt of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival, a new memoir by Kelly Sundberg (available June 5). It's like a moron twilight zone in here. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. If he won't deal with that, you should. So there are nights of going to bed and retreating to our own sides of the bed. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. this is fantastic!! They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. There was a family business. At 6am. I made breakfast. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. When we face problems we cannot solve, we work on someting we can. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. I mean you did what she asked, right??? The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Well, setting up limits for them. pinterest.com. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room.

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